The Patron & the Combatant
/The Patron: a Good Husband
According to Merriam Webster dictionary one of the definitions of a Patron is a person chosen, named, or honored as a special guardian, protector or supporter. Let’s have a look at how this definition applies to a righteous husband. The Creator the Most High the great I AM THAT I AM began creating all we see and don’t see. He then came to create His most precious creation, mankind. He gave man a rule and responsibilities to live by. The rule don’t eat of the tree of good and evil and responsibilities included to rule and have dominion over the whole earth, to multiply and replenish the earth. In short, he was to start a family and care for them and rule over all creation on earth. The man is therefore a chosen person by his Creator to guard, protect, support and honor his Creator and family. A true patron is a principled one. You may be asking; well, how does that help me to know if a man is husband material or not. Here’s how.
A good husband, a righteous man will trust and rely on the Lord always. He understands his strengths and weaknesses and works at becoming stronger in his areas of weakness while he provides, protects, parents or counsels and communicates what is needed and expected with love, respect and wisdom.
He is principled, he will do what’s morally right in most case scenarios. He will faithfully follow the instruction of Holy Spirit rather than abandoning instruction when it’s convenient. What does this look like? A married man that can commit adultery. He does what’s morally right by not committing adultery, he thinks on his responsibilities and the choices he has made and decides that what he should do is to honor the God he serves and not his flesh. He is faithful by choice this is not just power but love. His choice is governed by the principles of his life which are based on his relationship and submission to the Most High.
Another example would be a man of faith courting a woman of faith and another woman joins the congregation that he may find very attractive instead of him jumping ship because some new member has pleased his eyes he sticks with the commitment of his courtship to see if he is really compatible with the woman he is courting instead of giving into lust and pulling the plug on the courtship he follows his principles understanding that doing what’s right is its own reward. He doesn’t know how to jump ship cause things are going wrong or not as expected. He knows how to govern his household and lead as instructed to by the Most High.
When you come together in righteousness you both should have gone a time without sexual contact why? Because you have moved past your flesh and are walking in the spirit to please your Creator and not yourself. Righteous people are not sexually active as a single person looking for marriage.
The guardian in him will set rules for his household to follow that will be in accordance with his principles. This at times might seem a bit extreme but he has put the rules in place that he chose as he feels it’s the best way to fulfill his responsibility of protecting all that the Most High has trusted into his hands. He is willing to lay down his life to protect the gift we call family. He is named head of household and should lead. During his singlehood he prays for a wife and when he sees the one, he thinks will be his wife he acts in faith pursuing her to know her as a friend which leads to courtship then to an engagement that leads to marriage if they are compatible. This is so important that he pursues her. Scripture says he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing. If he can’t pursue her for the marriage he can’t lead her in the marriage. If a woman pursues a man, she will need to understand the hardships that come with handing over leadership to him and she must also face the truth that he may never take the role as leader if he doesn’t pursue her. A man that pursues his relationship with the Lord, his goals and dreams will pursue her to make sure she is a fit helpmeet to aid him in accomplishing the vision the Most High has given him for his life.
A man should be honored by all that belongs to him this honor is respect, and a woman will not respect a man that can’t lead. Another area to look at is his attitude towards his relationship with the Most High does he come to service, worship, pray read or study the word. Look to see how he corrects others that wrong him is it lovingly? Can he provide the necessities of food, shelter and clothes? Always look at his behavior, how does he treat others especially those he has no real need of? Is he a joker? Is he competitive?
Test him in the areas of prayer. You don’t want a man that can’t pray, won’t pray or puts it off. His prayer life should be on point. Ask him to pray for you , make sure you pay attention to the timing when you ask him, know that he has time to do it so, once you ask you can see if he does or if he puts it off. Scripture says man ought to always pray.
Lastly, You also want to look for a man that is alright with talking about his experience falling away from the Lord and how he will never leave the lord again. This helps you stay focused on your walk together and growth as one. If you have experienced it and he hasn’t this can be a problem later as we all have our falling away moments. Some people have multiple moments, but we all have at least one major one in this journey we call life. A falling away moment is that time in your walk when you get tired of doing things God’s way, you’re mad at God for whatever the reason or you deal with spiritual burnout and fatigue. It might just be the repetitive falling and getting back up or just the attitude of not wanting to deal with the sin the Most High is asking you to let go of. It takes a lot for a person to pick themselves up after situations like these and they tend to develop the mindset I’m never doing that again; I’m never going back to where you brought me from and so on.
The Combatant: A Good Wife
Merriam Websters dictionary says that a combatant is one that is engaged or ready to engage in combat. Another definition says that it’s a person or nation engaged in fighting during a war. People with the understanding to be ready so they don’t have to get ready. Engaging in the battle, going forth and taking down anything that would come against the mission is what I often think of when I think of a combat soldier. How does a combat soldier and a good wife parallel?
Just as a combat soldier knows to be ready for anything so does a good wife. She understands that she should be ready to attack through prayer anything that would come against the vision of her household. She understands her role as a woman and is used by the Most High as a tool to protect the vision He has given her husband for their family. She understands the power of prayer, she trusts in the Most High that her husband can operate in his role as instructed.
Combat soldiers are defenders. They’re trained in discernment, to use their skills to defeat the opponent. The defender holds out against attacks, they can see attacks coming and know how to maneuver the scene. Through integrity, influence and intents her character is built to walk in righteousness. She understands who the real enemy is.
Her husband’s heart can rest safely with knowing that she will do what’s right no matter what because she is a woman of integrity. His household prospers because of her influence. Because she has right intentions, she will be discreet concerning her household matters. For a man looking for a good wife he should be ready to have conversations with the men in her life . Some great questions to ask are is she disrespectful? Are you able to correct her? How does she handle the conversation when you two disagree? Does she become argumentative? Ask yourself what does her attitude say about her? One of the most important things a man can use to gauge a woman is how does she allow or hinder hm from being who he really is especially in public? Does she counter everything he says? An example of what I mean is when you suggest something does she go with the flow of your suggestion or is she always making her own suggestion in return? There is nothing wrong with making your own suggestions in return; however, it shouldn’t be something that happens all the time. Does she speak on your behalf? Is she controlling? How does she chastise children? What are your thoughts and feelings about her response to how or what she thinks about you and your ability as a leader of the household?
These answers give you an abundance of information on who this woman is. You can’t fake love, kindness, peace, joy, laughter, compassion, things like that. The fruit either is or it isn’t there. A person can only fake it for so long so take your time getting to know the real person behind the eyes you see. Prayerfully seek the Most High for direction, wisdom and discernment on who this person is to you.
A woman truly after her Saviors heart will naturally submit, cook, clean, encourage, praise and worship the Most High. She is a combatant; her fight is purposefully violent with all intentions to harm the opposition not her household. It is sad that some women unaware of how to use their warrior skills often misunderstand who the enemy is and may knowingly or unknowingly fight their husband. This is done out of ignorance and in most cases can be corrected by correcting her. However, there are also places of brokenness that causes a woman to raise up against her own household.
Their role on the earth to be fruitful and multiply, to rule and have dominion over the earth and all that is in it. They are to lead by example, to influence those around them to be desirous of what they have. I like how the Most High puts it in Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
A man should lead his family in a way that they enter the kingdom, live righteously before others and contribute to the community they are a part of. The vision that the Lord has given the husband should be shared with the wife and she should be actively helping him to accomplish the vision for their lives. The children are to be obedient to their parents and follow in their footsteps when they are old enough to know good from evil.